Day Of Recollection

Yesterday's mental health day turned into a pilgrimage through what some people refer to as "Kentucky's Holy Land". This is the general area around the Abbey of Gethsemani. Back in the 1800's many Catholics and religious communities came to this area and deep roots were planted. The founders of the Abbey of Gethsemani came to the area in 1848 after fleeing the French revolution. My morning commute was very stressful. After dropping my wife off at her office I headed south on I-65 to the home of my friend, Father Dennis. As soon as I got out of the city I encountered deep fog. My vision was very limited. Whenever this happens to me I can't help but think of the 14th century spiritual treatise entitled the Cloud of Unknowing. I could barely tell where I was, where I was going, and I was a little nervous that another driver would come flying out of the fog and run into me. By the time I got to Dennis's house I was a little stressed. This commute is normally very enjoyable. Soon after I arrived at Dennis's we went out for breakfast at a place called the Stephen Foster Resturant. For those that don't know, Bardstown is where My Old Kentucky Home is located. In was in this home that Stephen Foster found the inspiration for the famous song of the same title. Most people would recognize this song as the opening to the Kentucky Derby. After breakfast we briefly returned to Dennis's home where he said, "I think we should visit some of the local churches and religious communities and make today a day of recollection". A day of recollection is a kind of mini-retreat. Such opportunites are rare for me so I quickly agreed.

We began with a stop at the Abbey of Gethsemani. I spent a year of my life living as part of the monastic comunnity so it has always held a special place in my heart. It is also a place of temptation since the monks have a gift shop which has lots of books that I would like to read. I succumbed to buying a book called A Sunlit Absence by Martin Laird. It is a companion book to one I am currently reading called Into the Silent Land. In addition to the books, there are also the temptations of the fruitcakes, cheeses, jellies, cookies, and coffee that are made by monks and nuns from around the world, not to mention all the beautiful Icons.

The next stop was the Motherhouse of the Sisters of Loretto. This place has some personal meaning for me because my mother grew up in this area and my maternal grandfather once worked for the Sisters. They have a wonderfully simple and somewhat stark church that reminds me of the Abbey's. Dennis and I went into a smaller chapel where we sat in silence for a period of time. Silent contemplative prayer is the type of prayer I find most attractive. When we got back outside we couldn't help but remark on the beauty of the day. It was one of those late winter, early spring like days that come as a blessing after a string of typically overcast, dreary winter days in Kentucky.

Our next stop was the Domincan church of St. Rose of Lima. It is a very old church that is a tasteful mixture of pre-Vatican II ambiance and current theological expression. It sits high on a hill with a wonderful panoramic view of the countryside. Once again, Dennis and I spent time sitting in silence. Occasionally my mind flashed into thinking about how I would normally be spending my time on a Friday workday. When I realized what I was thinking I focused on my breathing and prayer words to regain my centeredness. Since we were in a landscape that had spiritual as well as ancestral roots for me, Dennis and I also discussed some of our geneology roots. I suppose most of us at some time or another think about our roots and family histories.

After we left St. Rose of Lima church we headed to the Motherhouse of the Dominican Sisters called St. Catherine's. When we first arrived we were locked out due to it being the time when the Sisters have lunch. As we walked away one of the Sisters came out and asked if she could help us. When we informed her that we just wanted to sit in their chapel and pray, she said, "Come on, I'll let you in". Modern day Sisters don't dress in religious habits anymore. As we walked through the Sisters dining room, all I saw was a bunch of elderly woman and the whole scene reminded me of my mother in law's retirement community. However, most of these elderly Sisters were adorned with multiple strands of brightly colored Mardi Gras beads. Apparently it was party central at the Dominican Motherhouse as the Sisters celebrated Mardi Gras in anticipation of Ash Wednesday which is next week. The Sister's chapel was on the second floor so Dennis and rode up the elevator with five or six of the Sisters and we were all laughing the entire way. Once again Dennis and I sat in silence. The chairs were very comfortable and the entire chapel was bathed in a beautiful multi-colored light from all the stained glass windows. I could have sat there all afternoon.

Our final stop of the day was St. Thomas Church, one of the oldest churches in Kentucky. Next door to the small church is a log cabin that originally was a home to Bishop Flaget, the first bishop of Kentucky and land well beyond the borders of Kentucky.

Soon after we returned to Dennis's home I realized I needed to be heading home to pick up my wife at her office. With some regret I gave Dennis a hug, got in my car, and headed home. Since I needed to go to downtown Louisville I got on I-65 North. In my blissful state I completely forgot the bridge closure that has been a nightmare for months. As soon as I was within the city linits of Louisville the traffic began backing up and soon came to a complete halt. The slower I progressed, the more stressed I got. Eventually I got to an exit so I made my escape and went a different route to my wife's office. In what seemed like forever, I finally got there, picked her up, and we headed in the opposite direction of the Ohio River and anything that looked like a bridge. Along the way we stopped for dinner at a favorite fish restaurant. After I finally got home, and changed into my evening attire, I soon fell sound asleep on my couch. It's a good thing I got some rest because I had an unexpected visit from my well rested and very energetic seven year old granddaughter. All in all, despite the stressful commutes, I had a wonderful day of peace and contemplation in the country.

Mental Health Day

Earlier in the week when I was writing about “Acedia”, I mentioned the need for some people to have a “me” day. Some people also refer to such days as mental health days. I am going to have such a day tomorrow. It will be nothing unusual. I will still get up at 6:00 AM like I always do on workdays. I will still drive my wife to her office as I always do. However, instead of driving to my office, I will go up the I-65 ramp on 1st Street and head south. I-65 is always very intense in the downtown area. The traffic and intensity doesn’t seem to lesson until you get to the Brooks Road exit. Once I get past that I can relax, drink my coffee, enjoy my music, be one with the drive. I will get off at the Bardstown exit and turn left on Highway 245. It’s a very scenic drive, at least for now. There is talk of expanding the highway to four lanes all the way into Bardstown for the development of a “Bourbon Trail”. This is due to all of the distilleries in the neighborhood and Kentucky’s desire to make this area similar to California’s Napa Valley. Once I get through Bardstown and turn left at St, Joseph’s Cathedral I will head down Highway 31E to the home of my good friend, Father Dennis. We are going to spend the day together. After a good breakfast at a nearby restaurant, we’ll decide how we will spend the day. Whatever we do, or wherever we go, the day will be peppered with stimulating conversation. Dennis lives very close to the monastery so I expect to make a visit there, too. It’s good to have mental health days, it’s good to have great friends, and it’s good to step away from one’s normal routine whenever possible. Although I may be tired by the time I return home, I will be mentally and spiritually refreshed. I will need to be since the weekend is near and most weekends I am in the most important role of my life which is being Paw Paw to a little girl named Chloe.

Encouraging The Young

Yesterday I discovered some pictures on my telephone that I didn’t take. One of them is a picture of me sleeping in my Lazy Boy chair. The artist behind these photos appears to be a seven year old little girl named Chloe. I am happy she did this. First of all, I’m impressed she is smart enough to use my telephone to take pictures. In addition to the picture of me in dreamland, there are a number of photos of different things in my room from a variety of perspectives. I love it that my granddaughter is showing some artistic tendencies. Art is her favorite subject in school. Whenever she visits me on the weekends, she is always drawing and coloring and cutting things out to create something. She does a very good job of drawing whatever she is looking at or something that she is imaging. If you have young children, pay attention to what they do and what seems to give them joy. Gifts and talents take root in our youth. They can be encouraged and developed or ignored and discouraged. I always try to encourage whatever artistic endeavor that Chloe attempts. I probably didn’t do this very well with my own children and no one did it very well with me. We will all become who we are sooner or later and whatever is in us will find a way out. This reminds me of a song lyric from a classic blues song by John Lee Hooker, one of my favorite blues artists. In the song a father is talking to a mother about their child. The father says, “Let that boy boogie woogie. It’s in him and its got to come out”. Whatever our talent or gift, it’s got to come out or we will be forever frustrated. Sometimes it takes years to find our gift. I didn’t start seriously writing until I was 50 years old. So, whatever age you are, follow your bliss, be who you are, and do what you do, whether it’s painting, taking pictures, writing, or doing the boogie woogie.

Acedia

“Acedia” is a monastic term that describes a kind of boredom with your life. We all have things we dread, things we procrastinate doing, or things we simply do not want to do. Acedia is more than that. It is the sense that everything is a chore, everything is exhausting, everything is meaningless. Whenever I feel like this, and it seems to happen more and more frequently, I have the feeling that “I’m over everything”. As my wife often says, “I’m tired and I’m tired of it”. I know I am feeling this way when I have a sense of fatigue that goes far beyond a lack of sleep. It is a mental, psychological, and spiritual weariness. I think everyone, except for the most extremely positive and optimistic people, sometimes feel like this. So what does one do about it? The first step is to simply recognize it. The second step is to remind yourself that your feelings are like the weather, always changing, and that your feelings are often a poor representation of reality. I also find it helpful to change my routines as much as I can. I know I am a creature of habit and routine. Sometimes I take comfort in that. However, I also know that my routines can sometimes create a rut that brings on these feelings of acedia. Sometimes we all need a break from our lives and responsibilities. Sometimes we need a “me” day. Sometimes we need a good nap or perhaps a night out with friends. From time to time I need to go out to the monastery for a weekend and make a retreat. We all need someone or something to periodically give us a boost or sense of renewal. We all sometimes need to re-charge our batteries so that life does not overwhelm us or totally drain us of all zest for living.

The Grammy Awards

I stayed up too late last night watching the Grammy Awards. I thought it was a better than average show. Most of the time I don’t watch these awards because I am usually unfamiliar with most of the artists who are being recognized. Last night there seemed to be something for everyone. Although I am an old rock and roller, I enjoyed much of the music that was performed by artists of the younger generation. I especially liked the performance of Bruno Mars who did a great job mimicking many of the classic moves of James Brown, one of my favorite artists. Of course, the show was made more poignant because of the sudden and unexpected death of Whitney Huston. Admittedly, I was never a big fan of hers but I thought she had a lot of God given talent. Last night’s show meant a lot to me for other reasons. There was a tribute to the Beach Boys. God knows they looked like they are one step from the nursing home. However, the Beach Boys were the very first rock and roll band I ever saw in a live concert. It was in the early 60’s. I was barely a teen-ager and they were probably in their early 20’s. Another of my favorite bands, the Allman Brothers Band, received a lifetime achievement award. I have seen the Allman Brothers Band more often than any other band over the last 40+ years. Finally, the Grammy Awards show closed with a performance by Paul McCartney, one of the Beatles. Although I like many bands, the Beatles are my all-time favorite band. I never saw them when they were together but I did finally see Paul McCartney in the early 2000’s and his performance brought tears to my eyes. Music is one of life’s most pleasurable and meaningful creations. It brings great joy to many and I believe it may be the most unifying forces in all of life. As David Crosby once sang, "Music is Love".

The Passing Of Time

While I was walking into the office this morning I was happy and a little surprised that it’s already Friday. I have always heard, and it’s been my experience, that the older you get the faster time seems to go. Weekends, holidays, and vacations always seem to fly by regardless of your age. When I was younger the work week seemed like it would never end. Now even the workdays go by very fast for me. Yes, I drag into the office on Monday mornings like everyone else but the next thing I know it’s already Friday. We all know that time goes by at the same pace every day. There’s sixty minutes in an hour, twenty four hours in a day, and seven days in a week. Regardless of our moods and feelings, this never changes. However, the perception of time can be quite different. Albert Einstein has a theory of relativity that talks about time and our perception of it. As an example he compares a lover’s kiss to the experience of sitting on a hot stove. If you did both for one minute, which one would seem the longest? When I was a boy, a summer day seemed to last forever. School vacations seemed endless. Now it sometimes seems that if I blink ten years has gone by. I felt young for a very long time in my life and now I suddenly find myself on the brink of being a senior citizen. I still remember my first day of work at my current employer and now twenty six years have passed. The cure for slowing life down is mindfulness. If you can train yourself to be aware of each moment as it unfolds, you will gain a new sense of the passing of time. When you are mindful, and in the moment, you will find that the moment will be eternal and time will not pass by you un-noticed.

Breathing

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I am trying to be more aware of my breath. Most of us rarely thinking about our breathing unless we are having a problem with it. I know a number of adults and children who suffer from Asthma. I am certain breathing is always on their minds. Breath is life. Some spiritual teachings refer to God as our breath. When we are breathing we are alive. My wife and I have lost three of our parents. I was with all of them when they died. None of them seemed to be suffering as they passed away. What happened was they all slowly let go of their breath. Deep breathing will calm us when we feel some minor anxiety. Controlled breathing, using our diaphragm, in conjunction with a mantra or prayer word, can quiet our restless minds and bring a sense of relaxation to our stressed out bodies. Regular meditation, preferably twice a day, is like exercise for the soul. Of course, breathing and meditation are not solely intended just to bring a sense of calm into our lives. The deeper purpose of meditation is to make us more aware. I recently read that there is no absence of God in our lives, regardless of how it often feels. What is absent is our awareness of God all around us. Meditation is also a kind of prayer. When most people think of prayer they think of it as talking to God. Meditation is more about listening than talking. The use of a mantra or prayer word is only a means to keep our restless and wandering minds under reasonable control. When we are meditating we are in a listening and receptive stance. We are like an empty cup that is waiting to be filled.