Imagine a mountain. Every day the mountain experiences some type of weather. Some days are bright and sunny and beautiful. Some days are cloudy and overcast. Occasionally some days are stormy with heavy rain, thunder, and lightening. Other days the mountain gets buried in snow. Our moods and feelings are like the weather. They come and go and change all the time, often on the same day. People have a tendency to think their moods and feeling are who they are. We are not our moods and feelings any more than a mountain is the weather it experiences. The reality is that each of us is the mountain. Sometimes I am in a bad mood and I can’t come up with a reason for feeling that way. Some days I am just in a funk. When I feel like that I try to remind myself about the weather and I try to just wait out my funk, much like I would wait out a storm. Others days, again for no particular reason, I feel happy, life is beautiful, and I am walking on air. On days like that I really try to just enjoy the moment and get lost in it. I don’t wonder why I am happy or if I deserve to be. I just thank the universe. One of my favorite jazz bands is called “Weather Report”. They picked that name because their music, like the weather, is always changing. However you’re feeling today, just acknowledge it, and let it go. If today’s a sunny day, enjoy the warmth on your soul. If it’s a stormy day, just hunker down until it passes. If it’s overcast, be patient. The sun will shine again.
Saturday, August 01, 2015
Once a friend sent me some thoughts about something called the "fear of not measuring up". In a competitive and obsessively driven society such as ours, we all suffer from this fear to some degree. There are a million ways for it to manifest itself. It's the fear that you aren't smart enough or aren't pretty enough or aren't successful enough. It's the fear of not being able to "keep up with the Joneses", that you don't drive the right kind of car or don't live in the right neighborhood, that you didn't go to the right school or you're not a supermom and on and on and on. It's the fear of being inadequate. Let's be honest. Some people are smarter, more successful, and better looking than the rest of us. That's called "Life's Not Fair". However, the rest of us are not doomed. I think we all have unlimited potential if we have the drive and initiative to take advantage of the opportunities given us. On the other hand I am someone who believes in the idea of contentment. I always want to be the best possible version of myself but, quite frankly, sometimes I am just too tired. I have more stuff than many people but much less than many others. I can honestly say that I am very content with my standard of living. I have everything I need to live comfortably and to be happy. At this point in my life I think more about how I can do with less than with always wanting more. I'm not a genius but I am far from stupid. I am happy with who I am and I don't feel inferior to anyone. I am not perfect but I know I am a good person. I don't have to beat everyone else in order to feel like I am successful. It really all boils down to these few questions. Are you happy? Is there love in your life? Are there people and things you care about and other people who care about you? Are your basic needs being met? If yes, what more do you want?
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die. So let us all be thankful.
These words of the Buddha probably do a good job of summing up most of the days in our lives. They also remind us to always be thankful. Whenever we look backwards we can remember reasons to be happy and reasons to be sad. Every year we experience new births, rebirths, conversions, transformations, and new ways of seeing things. Most of us also experience some type of loss. Relationships can change and sometimes fall apart. People we care about leave our lives or sometimes die. Some of us are better off materially and financially and some of us are worse off. Some of us are in the spring or summer of our lives and others are in the autumn or winter of their lives. Some of us are gathering in the harvest of our lives while others are letting go and simplifying their life. Doors close and windows open. The unfolding of life, year by year, is the great mystery in which we all live. Each morning is the threshold of a new day with new possibilities. If yesterday wasn't so great for you, today can be a time of new hope. A while back I saw the Rolling Stones perform at Churchill Downs. Keith Richards, a member of the band and a guy who should have died ten times by now, looked out on the crowd and said, "It's really nice to be here. It's really nice to be anywhere"! I share his sentiments. I'm really happy to still be here and I try to remind myself that these are the good old days and the best days of my life are still ahead of me. Begin the rest of your life now by seizing the day and living with a grateful heart.
“The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds.”
-The Dalai Lama
I have been fortunate enough to see the Dalai Lama twice. Everyone wants to be successful but not everyone agrees on the definition of success. The world measures success by the size of your paycheck, the power you wield, the title you have, the square footage of your office, and who dies with the most toys. Most religions would measure success by how good you are and how much you love those around you. I reject the world’s view and I mostly agree with success being measured by one’s goodness and love in action. I would also add that part of success is being the best version of who you are. We are all unique, we all have something to give, and we all have a part in the great drama of life. Shakespeare said that “all the world’s a stage” and that we are all actors. Success, however, is not acting. Success is being real and true. Being real and being true to who we are is a lifelong journey. Our true selves are often buried deep within us. The journey of life is to uncover who we really are and to be that person. Imagine a world where most people were real and true. It would be a world with more cooperation and less competition. It would be a world with more love and less hate. It would be a world with more peace and less war. It is our obsession with power, prestige, and possessions that creates most of the disharmony in the world. If you are not already being a peacemaker, healer, restorer, storyteller, or a person motivated by love, begin today. Along the way you will find yourself and make the world a better place.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
Make a list of things that excite you. What kind of person would you be if you could sustain this level of excitement more often? What steps can you take to become more like that person?
I admit that I am a person that doesn’t get excited easily. I am cynical by nature, more reserved than I care to admit, and my true emotions rarely show. As a leader one of my weaknesses is an inability to be a cheerleader type of person. There are certainly people and things that give me joy. My granddaughter and music come to mind. However, I don’t think joy and excitement are the same thing. I think what excites me is when I can be who I really am and do what I do best. Occasionally this happens but not with a great deal of frequency. Many people find it difficult to be who they are because they don’t know who they are. I have a fairly good idea of my identity because I’ve had a long life so far to figure it out. Many people also don’t know what they do best because they haven’t found their gift yet. Excitement is a difficult emotion for me. When I actually feel excitement it is almost uncomfortable. I suppose the strongest emotion I feel is passion. Passion, however, is a double edged sword. On the positive side I can feel passion for something I truly believe in, on the negative side my passion is occasionally repressed anger that has found its way to the surface of my feelings. Today I will try to meditate on things that excite me and ways that I can nurture this feeling within myself. I want to live a life where my experiences, thoughts, and actions excite me. Excitement, like joy, is a wonderful feeling. I strive to avoid negative feelings and most of the time I am positive. However, I am rarely excited. Perhaps I have been disappointed too many times in life and my experience is that most expectations are planned disappointments.
Monday, July 27, 2015
During our lifetime we walk down many different roads. We start in one place and end up in another place. When one road ends, another one begins. As Tom Hanks declared in the movie Forrest Gump, “I’ve worn lots of shoes”. In all of the journeys down all of the roads we have traveled in our lives we’ve all worn lots of shoes. I have an old pair of sneakers with tie dyed shoe strings that are completely worn out but I have kept them because they have taken me to many rock and roll concerts in my life. The shoes, and the journeys on which I wore them, have many memories for me. I hope my wife doesn’t pitch them when I am not looking. Often when we are walking down one of life’s roads we have no idea where it will end or where it will intersect another road. We don’t always know where we are and it is only by looking in our rear view mirror that we know where we’ve been. If we know where we are going we have a better idea about what kind of shoes to wear. I once visited France. Our hosts took a bunch of us on a bus trip to a local shrine in a forest. After we all got off the bus, the bus left us. Most of us didn’t realize that part of the experience was to hike back to where we began. The hike back was through the forest. It was beautiful but there were hills to climb, creeks to cross, and occasional mud. Some of the ladies and a few of the men were not prepared for such a hike. I wasn’t wearing my rock and roll shoes but I did have on some shoes appropriate for a hike in the forest. As you walk down the roads of your life, including the occasional side trip through a forest, be sure you have on the right kind of shoes.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
I believe part of the spiritual journey is trying to remember everything we have forgotten. We are born perfect but begin to lose our true nature as we “mature”. In a manner of speaking the spiritual journey is a return to the self. As we grow older we feel like we learn new things. I don’t think it is a learning so much as it is a remembering. As we remember who and what we are, we re-discover our true self, a self that is often hidden by our personalities. As I have shared before, our different personalities are nothing more than defense mechanisms we have unconsciously created as our way to deal with the world around us and also as a way to get love, i.e. if I am perfect people will love me more. Since we have not all had the same experience of life, we do not all have the same personality. I know my own personality well. It has been studied and tested by me on a number of occasions. I am programmed by my life’s experience to act a certain way. Many of us even try to look a certain way. I was asked once if I had a beard so I look “wiser”. The challenge of the spiritual journey, and the return to the self, often pushes us to act the opposite of the way we want to act or think we should act. On some levels we are all frauds and imposters. We maintain our illusions of ourselves because we are afraid of who we might really be. If we are born perfect, a return to our true self cannot be scary. The real fear should be living an illusion. People sometimes ask me, “How can I have inner peace”? Inner peace is not the result of having no conflict or challenges in your life. Inner peace comes from being who you are, accepting who you are, and being OK with who you are. If you are doing these things you are on your way to being your truest self and experiencing inner peace. Now if I can just remember to do this….