Monday, September 07, 2015

You're Fine The Way You Are

Whether we realize it or not, most of us have been told our entire lives that we aren't good enough.  Our life has been filled with messages telling us that we are inadequate and imperfect.  Most of the messages were unintentional but real never the less.  They have been from our parents, our teachers, our spouses, our significant others, our children, our relatives, our friends, and our employers.  We don't measure up, we disappoint, or we don't meet someone else's standards.  I, too, have heard these messages my entire life.  A friend once recommended a book to me that I finally read.  I would have read it sooner but I am imperfect and lazy so it took me a while to get to it.  As you can see we often give ourselves these negative messages too.  They don't always come from others.  Our biggest critic is often ourselves.  Anyway.....the name of the book is "Regardless of What You Were Taught to Believe.....There is Nothing Wrong With You" by Cheri Huber.  It is sub-titled "Going Beyond Self-Hate, A Compassionate Process for Learning to Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are".  The book begins with a list of the messages all of us received in our early childhoods.  I was amazed how many I had heard, how many I said to my own children, and how many I have even said to my granddaughter who I love more than anything in the world.  According to psychologists most of these messages are set in concrete before we reach age seven.  I know this may all sound terribly negative but it is not meant to be.  Consider it an eye opener and a wakeup call to stop listening to the voices around you.  Today is the day to start loving yourself.  Quit trying to improve yourself.  Quit thinking you're inadequate.  Quit thinking you're imperfect.  You're perfect the way you are.   

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