Monday, July 01, 2013

Great Sadness

As I write these thoughts I am sitting home alone.  From time to time I cannot help but cry.  In the background some light classical music is playing in memory of a dear friend who loved classical music as much as I love rock and roll.  I got up today like any other Monday.  When I got to work I had a email from my friend, Father Richard Rohr, concerning the death of our mutual friend, Father Dennis Borca.  I was not aware of Dennis's death until I read Richard's email.  I was and still remain in shock.  Dennis was a very dear friend.  Beyond friendship, he was like a big brother to me.  He was also one of the funniest people I have ever known.  Every visit with Dennis included lots of laughter.  He was quite the story teller.  Those of you who read my blog on a regular basis should be familiar with Father Dennis because I have frequently mentioned him in my blogs.  In the early 1970's we lived together in the same Franciscan community.  Father Richard was also part of that community.  Dennis eventually left the Franciscan order but remained a priest.  About seven or eight years ago he retired from active ministry and bought a home very near the Abbey of Gethsemani.  We have been getting together about once a month this entire time for friendship, spiritual discussions, and meals.  Occasionally I would spend the night at his home.  This past May Father Richard was in town for the Dalai Lama's visit to Louisville.  Dennis and I attended one of the Dalai Lama's talks together where Richard also spoke.  That week Richard and I also spent a night at Dennis's home for a Franciscan reunion.  It was a wonderful time.  Just a few  weeks ago Dennis concelebrated at my son's ordination to the priesthood and was one of the priests who laid his hands on Nick's head as part of the liturgy.  He couldn't have been more proud of Nick if he was his own son.  Only a couple of weeks ago I made my last visit to Dennis's home.  When I arrived in the early morning, he served me some sweet rolls for breakfast that neither of us should have eaten because we're both diabetics.  Usually we also go out to a restaurant for a meal but on this last visit he said, "Why don't I cook us some hot dogs and we can just sit here and talk".  Dennis was my closest confidant.  There were no secrets between us.  I am deeply saddened by his death and it creates a huge void in my life.  I will miss him terribly.  On my last visit we talked of death.  His great wish was to live as long as his parents and his greatest fear was concern over what would happen to his two dogs when he died.  I shared my desire to retire and my hope that we would both be two retired old men together.  Today has been a day of tears for me and it will be quite a while before my sadness goes away.  His last words to me were, "I love you".  The feeling was mutual.  Dennis and I had some great years together and I am sure he will watch over me for as long as I am still here.        

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Michael, thank you for writing about Dennis and sharing your deep friendship on your blog. Dennis was my cousin on my mothers side (my mother who will be 101 in Sept. was Dennis' fathers sister)and I just learned of his death through another cousin. I didn't know Dennis very well as he was 10 years older than me, but your love for him has given me a glimpse into the man he was...thank you!

Michael Brown said...

Dear Anonymous, Thank you for your note. I didn't think Dennis had any family left. How did you find me?

Michael Brown

Anonymous said...

I did a google search and your blog came up! Dennis has a lot of cousins on his fathers side. He (Dennis' father) was one of eight children of my grandparents. A cousin was informed by her cousin who lives in Munsing MI of his death in the Catholic paper there, otherwise, I'm not sure how any of us would have known.

Anonymous said...

Good old google!

Anonymous said...

Ah the wonders of the internet...I just kept following links and found your blog.

Anonymous said...

I knew Dennis when I lived in Houston from 1983-1987. We lost touch over the years when I moved to California. I am so sad to read about his passing. I was feeling sentimental and decided to Google old friends and found this blog posting.