Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Good And The Bad

We're getting a break in the brutally hot weather we've had most of the summer. Earlier today I took a walk outside. It was still hot but the humidity levels were way down so it was rather pleasant. Unofficially, today begins the end of summer. Most local children returned to school today. My granddaughter is beginning the first grade. Wasn't she just born yesterday? How can she already be in the first grade? In a couple of weeks my youngest son returns to the seminary for his second year of theological studies. His resolve is a little shaky but his counselors have advised him to press on with his studies and to continue the discernment that is part of the formation process. Such doubt is part of life. Few of us are able to live our lives without some doubt about the decisions we've made or the paths we stumble along. I believe that doubt is a good thing. I am suspect of people who live their lives with perfect certitude. My life has never been a leisurely walk down a perfectly straight path. There's a reason this blog is called "Stumbling Along the Spiritual Path".

Lately I have been filled with concern for others. The pain of life is never far away. I am an empathic person and the troubles of others often fill me with more sadness than my own struggles. I had to terminate a co-worker recently and it upset me that I had to do it. One of my brothers, who is a kind and gentle soul, suffers from serious mental health issues. Two people I know have cancer. Some in my life are having relationship struggles while others are unemployed. The evening news seems perpetually depressing. Life in general is fragile and there is always the chance it will come crashing down. In the midst of this I feel at peace within myself although I am not without some existential angst and I sometimes share the feeling of one of my sister's who says, "Sometimes I feel guilty that my life is so good". Many who suffer do not deserve it and I suppose that some who are blessed may not deserve it either. I generally believe in karma but it is not foolproof. Bad things sometimes happen to good people and good things sometimes happen to bad people. I can't explain it. My way of dealing with this is to not feel sorry for myself or act like a victim when misfortunes happen to me. At the same time I strive to see all of life's blessings as a gift and gratefulness as a way of life is important to me. Life and people have been giving me gifts my entire life. I don't always feel deserving but I accept them gratefully. Likewise, when life throws me curve balls, I strive to also accept them with humility and a minimum of complaining. It is my hope for myself and others that the greater part of our lives are filled with good things and that we only have enough bad to make us appreciate the good more deeply.

1 comment:

Jackie said...