Fatigue

Like many people I suffer from a seemingly never ending fatigue. Like many people I am sleep deprived and many of my days I am running on fumes. Part of it is my own fault. I get up early and I go to bed too late. I have never been one to go to bed early. Why? Going to bed early takes away from my personal time. By my estimate I only have about six hours a day that I am awake and on my own time. I sleep about six hours a night with the occasional evening nap. As much as I love a good nap I usually don't take them unless my body demands it. One of the great myths of modern life is the eight hour work day. Technically I only get paid for eight hours of work each day but the process of getting ready for work, commuting to work, doing the work, commuting back home, and usually stopping along the way for some dinner, takes approximately twelve hours of my day, Monday through Friday. So, six hours of sleep and twelve hours devoted to the demands of working outside my home only leave me six hours a day for personal time and relaxation where I can do what I enjoy or what is required for daily personal needs. By Friday night I am crashing and burning. I know that to be fully rested I need eight hours of sleep a night. Since I only get six, and that's on a good night, I loose the equivalent of a whole night of good sleep between Monday night and Friday night. Therefore, weekends are time for catching up on sleep between the often busy demands of weekends. One such demand is a labor of love. That would be time with my six year old granddaughter.

This fatigue of modern life is the primary reason I don't write more. My personal time is usually in the evenings after a day of work. This time may be personal but it is usually not of high quality. At this very moment I am fighting the urge to stop what I am doing and move over to my chair where I can doze off or sit in a catatonic state while my outdoor water sprinkler splashes water on my window as it waters my flowers. I don't know if I can remember the last time I felt truly rested. I think it was about a year and a half ago when I was home recovering from some emergency surgery.

The good news is that tomorrow is my last day of work this week. I am flying to Chicago on Friday to attend Eric Clapton's Crossroads Guitar Festival. The bad news is that I will return home afterwards completely exhausted. Periodically I have to do something like this to remind myself that I am not as young as I used to be. Thank God I also scheduled next Monday as a vacation day. I'm sure most of Monday will be spent on my couch in the fetal position.