Friday, January 11, 2008

A Vacation From Myself

The Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator says I am an INFP type. That is an introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiver. The Enneagram says I am a type Nine, also called "The Peacemaker" . When I took a test at work to determine my strengths as a leader, the results indicated I have great empathy for people, I am intellectual, and I can usually see the connectedness of things. This ability to make connections is a Buddhist trait so it pleases me that I have that one. It also indicated that I like to develop people and that I have good communication skills. My basic nature is to be quiet and introspective. Much of who I am is good and I recognize that in myself. I am happy that I am basically a good person. Of course, none of us is perfect. I am also lazy and I tend to procrastinate. Sometimes my attitude is "Please just leave me alone". Occasionally I obsess about things and I turn them around in my head for hours or days. I can be a perfectionist and there are times when my inner passion bursts out in the rare temper tantrum. I have a strong work ethic but don't want to work most of the time. People tell me I am a "people person" but people wear me out. Some people think I am deep but that's mostly an illusion. I don't really know the meaning of life. Most of the time I am searching for answers like everyone else. I have a brain that can't turn itself off sometimes and my emotions are often all over the place. My life often feels like a treadmill that has no turn off switch. The point of all this is that the person who drives me the most crazy is myself. Sometimes I find it exhausting to be me. As Jerry Seinfeld once joked, "I need a vacation from myself"! If I do this to myself, I must surely drive others mad at times. If there's any consolation to all of this, I do not think I am alone. Most of us are not completely satisfied with who we are and we are not always comfortable in our own skins. If it's not challenging enough to live with others, we must also live with ourselves. Community living takes great patience at times. Perhaps we should save a little of that patience for ourselves. We are all works in progress.

My first musical event of 2008 is now on the calendar. On February 18th, my good buddy and fellow music lover, Tom, and I will be seeing Bela Fleck and Chick Corea. Both are jazz artists. Bela is famous as a very unique banjo player and for his band the "Flecktones". Chick is a pianist who was part of a jazz fusion group in the early 70's called "Return to Forever". It should be an interesting combination and I am looking forward to the sounds they make together.

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